There isn't a week that goes by that I'm not in some way conflicted. As one who loves to "help" it's easy to get up and go; to be "out there" helping those on the fringes of life. To load up my tools and team up with a group to rebuild someones home gives me great pleasure (it's why I buy new power tools). To load box after box of food for the food bank does the same for my spirit. My soul is overwhelmed knowing that I get to go back to Kenya in October. Yes, the list goes on and on...
Here's the internal confliction; has my service to the poor, the homeless, the thirsty, the sick and the hungry become a fun religious activity, or does it come from a deeper place; a heart that has been touched by God?
Don't get me wrong, confliction can be good. Being at odds with our self can keep us centered as it helps us check our motives. Sometimes my heart gets a bit upside down and my motives are self-centered. At other times, my heart is just fine. I think this is the essence of our journey with Christ in that his deepest desire is to restore our hearts, and in doing so we can be his hands and feet in a hurting world. This is not a linear issue, it's an organic one. Figure this one out for yourself :^)
As I promised at our Sunday service yesterday (April 19th), listed below are a few simple prayers that I use to keep me centered which usually eases the confliction...
Dear God, restore my heart this day. Renew it that I may see the world as you see the world. Breathe a fresh breathe into the depths of my heart that my eyes will be opened that I too may see and serve the least of these…
Dear God, refresh my heart each day that I may continue my a quest; a quest of getting to know you. Help me read when I should read, fast when I should fast, pray when I should pray, and help me fight off the urge to make this a solo journey…
Dear God, my heart is yours. I give you all I can give you at this moment. I still have questions, I still have doubts, I still have a long way to go, but this day I give you my heart, as is…
Need some inspiration? Read Psalm 51.
Peace out...
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It is interesting that David (in Psalm 51) didn't ask God to "help him do the right things" after David sinned. Instead David prayed for his heart to be healed.
ReplyDeleteI often feel that controlling my behavior is so much easier than controlling my heart. It should be easy to :just do the right thing" -- no matter what. I've bought into the myth that I can control my actions, when, if I believed the Bible, mankind has never had that kind of control. I'm not the exception.
It is difficult to surrender my heart to God and let Him do the work. It is hard to understand that my behaviors will follow my heart. I keep thinking another coat of whitewash will do the trick. The most difficult thing is to understand my powerlessness to truly change myself.
Thank-you for the message on Sunday and the prayers.
You're welcome; what a great journey we're on...
ReplyDeleteI have this same thought every so often. Why am I doing this? Is it for myself or others? Since I do not think there is an answer that one would consider un-biased, I choose to not worry about the answer. It is more did someone benefit from my action or actions? If the answer is yes that is all that matters.
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